Gumption

Today I’d like to talk about gumption, as you know the definition is shrewd initiative and resourcefulness . Like my project I need gumption to make this project work, if one way fails, try another and see how that goes. That’s the first lesson that I learned in dealing with my stroke by the way but more on that later. The lady I’m dealing with certainly has the gumption to get this project moving in the right direction. She’s consumed with the passion of her arguments and a desire to move mountains in her drive to reach the goals she has set, no doubt in my mind about that. She doesn’t need steering in any way, shape or form; she needs ideas to try on and see how they fit and she can use my contacts. It’s a good fit for me to be a sounding-board for her to bounce ideas and frustrations off of. This Friday is the deadline she set for things to improve and to get rolling in the right direction and if not then she’s open to my suggestions.

August 04 is the first anniversary for the Stoke Center of San Antonio, and my testimonial is set to debut. I’m really looking forwards to this event and I’m going to try to parlay that into opportunities for me as well. I don’t know yet how I’ll work that magic but I’ll just take the event as it happens and see. I’m eager to help people who’ve had a stroke or a brain injury to get started on the path to whatever recovery is possible for them. I understand that many are injured beyond repair but I feel all can be helped. You know that school yard chant that it take one to know one, I know that by being their in their shoes I can bring them some comfort and some hope. Whether they take that help or not is up to them but if they’re willing to get better I can show them what they can accomplish with hard work and the proper mind-set. The opportunities are there for the taking if you want them it only lack the shrewd initiative and the resourcefulness to bring them to fruition.

This is a chance to reset my career goals into something that will bring me joy and will help a number of people to benefit from my knowledge and experiences. I’ll still be able to use my photography skills and maybe even a book in the works. But the idea is to be of help or comfort a maximum number of people possible. When you have a life changing event and you are really at a loss for what to do it helps if you have some guidance for what to expect and what your chances are. Again, I realize that there are many people unable or unwilling to get better. Too many find the exercises too hard or too silly to make the effort to recover. Or they find the attention they’re getting too irresistible and willingly give in instead of fighting for their future and the freedom of movement. There’s no comfort for them, I’m only willing to help the fighters to survive and to get well or better. Whatever they’re capable of I’m willing to help in they’re time of need but you have to be willing to get well yourself before anyone can help you.
This is my goal for the foreseeable future, I’m not willing to give up yet or to be stuck in a dead in job, it’s no way to live out my life even if I’m over sixty. I’ve got a lot of years left in me and I’m very positive about life and making the best of the years I have left.

Vada

I forgot to mention Vada in my post the other day. She is a terrific model very positive and playful. I enjoy working with her and I've got to get her back in front of my camera soon. If you're in the College Station area give her a chance, she's a very nice girl.

Twenty One

Forty years ago tonight men landed on the moon. Forty years ago I was a twenty-one year old kid touring around the North-East briefly staying in Newport Rhode Island for the Folk Festival. It was the event of my lifetime, Joan Baez, Rambling Jack Elliot and Doug Kershaw were among the performers I saw in person. The moon landing was just part of the show as far as I was concerned, another young kid was perched atop a VW Micro Bus holding an umbrella over a B&W television broadcasting the moon-walk live. I remember like it was yesterday, in fact it was a yesterday long ago.

Milling through the crowd of other young people, making friend for as long as the show lasted, sharing cigarettes and all manner of mind altering stuff like reality. After the show I’d drove my own Micro Bus back to the campground I was staying at, really a State Park that didn’t allow overnight visitors. I’d made friends with the park caretaker over coffee one morning and he told the State Trooper I was OK and the deal was set. My only other night time companions were some other kids like me but with camping equipment. That night I returned to find some bikers having a party a few tables away from me. They had an interest in my bus and the person that was staying inside and I decided to grab the bull by the horns and went over to visit.

They got very tense as I walked up and introduced myself and told them about the State Trooper that came through to check on me and my van. I told them that they could have the party but it was way better to have it away from me down in the corner where the trooper didn’t check. They were so happy to have avoided any type of confrontation with me and to be warned of the cop that they gave me some beers and thanked me. As I got back into my van, thinking how nice they turned out to be I saw the lights from the trooper car. I had a nice quiet night enjoying my beers and the peace and quiet of the night and the night entertainment. Not the least of which was the trooper protect me.

I could tell you of the whole week I spent in Rode Island, the girl I met along the seawall or the lovely night she spent with me or the romantic predawn swim we had in the fresh ocean’s water. But I want to tell you about coffee instead, coffee is the great equalizer to the traveler. Every morning I’d get up and put a pot of coffee on to brew. People seldom bother a man waiting for his morning brew no matter how officious they are. And offering a cup of fresh brewed is the way to anyone’s heart and their companionship. Life unfold over coffee and it’s somehow wrong to tell a lie so early in the morning. And of course being a young fresh face kid on an adventure helped my cause immensely. Never once did I realize how impossibly young and naive I was that summer. I was involved in the adventure of my still young lifetime and nothing would deter me from my quest.

Project

Life is that which happens to us while we are busy planning our futures. My project is taking a lot longer than I had expected, in fact it might not ever get off the ground. The problem is the management team is floundering around from project to project letting there attention get scatter like so many leaves in the wind. The main man has a perfectly good project under wraps but lacks the vision to bring his project to fruition and that is so sad. It’s not like this is rocket science, he’s done the hardest part and that to think up the idea and build a prototype. But he lacks the vison to see his project through and has filled his life with people who also lack the vision or experience to guide him beyond their own selfish needs. So the whole project is going to fall by the wayside for lack of direction.

I wouldn’t mind so much but this is a green project that will help a lot of people in their moment of need and beyond. Emergency Housing in a new a different way that FEMA is in dire need of done in a new a different way. None of the Formaldehyde fumes and a pop-together wall structure that can be put together in different configurations quickly and can be shipped by air or rail. Now a woman involved with the project is a real go getter and really sharp, she got my attention very quickly and has potential. She has the vision and see’s the potential that the other lack but I fear she is getting discouraged by the lack of control at the top. I’d like to be part of her team if she has the gumption to put one together and take over the hard work on getting the grants, doing the governments paperwork and all the headache involved with getting a new project off the ground. As I say she has experience and I think has the drive. Certainly her background in solar work and knowledge of the working of the government give her a leg-up so we’ll see. Stay tuned as the adventure continues and see if this can be part of my new life. Only time will tell.

On the other hand I went to the Second Saturday Art festivities the other night and had a blasts. All sort of wonderful art on display with all the artist in attendance to talk up their work and give it depth. Really got my creative juices flowing to get back into the game but I don’t know if it’s really time yet. No one seems to be buying art or anything else right now and the gallery owner isn’t doing any cartwheels as of late. But it gave me a feel for the life again and maybe soon the timing will be right for a return. But it was a young crowd and I didn’t see any buyer type there only people looking to have a good time and maybe that’s what it’s all about now. Everybody is crying the blues but still people are shooting and models are working and traveling so things can’t be that bad can they now.

Crotch Shot

I’d like to thank Dr. Lightness for her informative post on taboos and the crotch shots. I want to say a word or two about the crotch shot and my conflicted views on them also. I think they can be an invasion of privacy and should be used in an artistic and limited way. Plus as a man they call for an amazing amount of trust by the ladies involved. I have posted one of my shots here on my blog but you can’t see who she is and I would never tell, again I think it’s a matter of keeping her privacy intact. As I said in my blog I wanted for my model to be almost androgynous rather than a female who was built more sensuously. I had a statement that I want to make and I didn’t want to take away from that message. As you can see by the image posted here I got the shot I wanted for the Gallery Lombardi Erotica Show and it got a goodly viewing. I invited my model to show her how the work was shown and in what context because it was her first time to be in a show.

Another shot I did with a girl, and I do mean girl as she was twenty when we shot, I asked her permission to have her squat. I explained how the sun was positioned and how the shadows would fall and I ask her if I could shoot a polaroid first. Then I explained how I wasn’t sure how much detail I was going to get in the final print but I told her how I would protect her privacy. She allowed me to shoot and you’ll have to take my word it was a wonderful image. Because you can see who she is I’ll never post it again to protect her privacy. I feel I owe that to my models.

Let me say a word here about my models, at a minimum they are eighteen, my preference is for them to be at least in their mid-twenty’s or older. I believe you need some age to prepare yourself to model nude . In your early to mid-twenties you’ve had so time to live and get some experience under you’re belt. You have a better idea of who you are and where your place is. Your brain is more mature and you make better decisions mostly. One model I worked with was eighteen and I noticed her because her had a portfolio that was all nudes and not very good one at that. So by agreeing to work with me I was able to provide a little common sense to her attitude to modeling.

This is the way I prefer to work, it may seem a little convoluted but considering how I sometimes work with very young models who haven’t considered the ramifications of shooting nudes yet. I feel I owe them the respect they show to me and my artistic endeavors. Have I always felt that way, no but I too am a work in progress and I do learn from my mistakes and I try to do better. I’m not the same person I was before my stroke, I have slowed down and had a chance to think about things and a better way to relate to my subjects now. There was a time that I was caught up in that drive to make my mark and to get attention as an artist no matter what the cost. But my stroke gave me a chance to get my feet firmly underneath me and to consider my limits and my priorities. Now I’m ready to begin the hunt anew with a more generous spirit and revised goals. I’ve learned to live in my skin a little better and I’ve learned to be more loving.

So a convoluted way of shooting and thinking. yes but a much fairer way of thinking. I have many shots I can’t use because of my models sensibilities. But I have many more shots that are equally special because of the level of trust that my models and I share and you can’t beat that.