Friday, November 28, 2008

New York II




My other life long friend I met in NYC was John Osborne and his wonderful family. John worked for New York Telephone and had such wonderful budgets and was able to send me around New York state to cover conventions for him. He also was responsible for putting on charity event around the state and in the city. I was lucky enough to visit with some great kids that he was investing in programs for their schools. One such program was high school artists who were having their art shown it the lobby of his building in Manhattan. These kids were from disadvantaged schools in the Burroughs of New York.
When I walked in they were wide eyed at the attention they were getting for the art they had created. Of course as teenagers they were wary of showing how pleased they were, they didn’t want to seem uncool. I of course told them to act normal and to go about their art work as they normally would while I took their pictures. Then I set about capturing them and interacting with them and playing with some until they relaxed and I could shoot them without notice. This was one of the great joys of working with John, he gave me the opportunity of seeing real New Yorkers in their habitat. Going about their daily lives and to capture small vignettes it for shows we did in the lobby.
I also had the great opportunity to drive the back roads of New York state going about my business and I could stop if I saw something of interest. This image is a small churchyard on the way to Cooperstown for a convention at the Otesaga Hotel which is on landmark registry. I had shot a clown we used and we had life sized cutouts made to guide the convention guests to the various event. It was wonderful see my work being enjoyed in the venue it was created for.
I was also lucky enough to be considered a member of the family and was invited for all the holidays and some evenings of social fun and dinner. It was the closest I came to having a family while in New York. I got to know and enjoy their two kids very well and I loved talking with them and watching them grow up. They became part of my extended family and I grew to love them very much. The kids (a boy and a girl) were involved with the usual school plays and were getting voice lessons as well and took the work very seriously. They began to be concerned with what plays and singing competitions they were getting into and that gave me pause.
These children were getting involved at a young age in the rat-race that was New York. Involved with the same rat-race that I was in looking at with a growing dismay. I saw in them the same struggles and issues that had begun to dominate my life. New York is a very expensive city to live in, you need to know where your next paycheck is coming from and how soon. It consumes your every waking moment and you’re always’s on the hustle for new opportunities. I wasn’t sure it was worth the struggles anymore nor the toll it was taking in my personal life.
When John mentioned he was taking a buy-out offered by the company I saw my time in New York at an end. I went about making plans to return home and to use all the skill I had learned over the past five years. John and I have remained close friends and still work together on different shoots that crop up and he still has wonderful budgets.

Monday, November 24, 2008

New York



I was forty years old when I moved to The City. It was in response to a long and frustrating year for me. Excruciatingly slow, all my contacts had just gone quiet and there was no work. My private life was in turmoil as well and I just didn’t know which way to turn. So I packed my life away and faced the great unknowns of New York City and began the greatest adventure of my life.
Luckily I had a place to stay for three week and in those weeks I had to find employment and a place to call home. I had a contact with Pete Turners studio who’d show me the ropes and would help in finding jobs for me. But the onuses was on me and my fondness for survival. That first year in the City I wore out three pairs of running shoes looking for work. Work was much easier to find than a place to live but both were in short supply. Eventually fate led me to James McLoughlin who had a beautiful studio on West 24th Street.
Jim is an extraordinary photographer and a friend who really helped me make my way through the complex ways of business and the art of photography. He was a hard man at times but generous with his knowledge and equipment. He encouraged all his assistants to use the studio and his equipment to the fullest extent to get the benefit of their time with him. I learn a great deal from working with him and sharing my images with him. The greatest compliment any photographer can get is to have a mentor say he wished he’d shot that and I received that compliment with pride.
In his studio I learned to use reflectors and gobos for there maximum effect. I learned to sculpt my light to where it was needed and to take it from where it was not. All the tricks I had learn combined to give my work a finished look and then some. I had a chance to experiment and to invite people to play and have a good time and learn something in the bargain. I had the chance to earn good money and to impress a lot of people with the studio. I am forever grateful for that opportunity and the man who made that all possible.
I had a summer of Danish girls who came to pose for me. They were very open with me and treated their body’s like extensions of themselves. I remember waiting while a polaroid developed and watching one girl pressing her clothes while wearing just her panties. I told myself she’s just a girl with beautiful breast, you’ve seen breast before. Which was true but it had been a long time since I’d seen someone build on such a grand scale and I was very impressed. But the reality was we were there to do a job and not for my personal enjoyment. She was so open because of her upbringing and her trust in me. And that trust was something I couldn’t and wouldn’t violate but that didn’t preclude me from enjoying myself.
This is Susannah also from my Danish Summer who wasn’t quite as open but she sure put up with a lot. She had a pretty severe look, very Germanic and hard but a joy to work with. I softened her look believe it or not but I never could get her to smile on camera. She drove the hardest bargain when we got to dividing up the film at the end but I was pleased with the way she turned out. I feel like she’s a great example of my lighting and my skill as a photographer.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Play



I like to bring a sense of play and adventure to my shoots. I give my models a basic outline of what I’m considering shooting but I stress that my shooting is personality based. I think I’m good at that and that’s why I can occasional get that perfectly spontaneous look and feel to my shoots. Working with a nude the first time is such a grab bag of possibilities. I like for my models to feel free to experiment with different looks and emotions. It’s important to me that they feel comfortable and safe to just down right play and get silly if they want. Like I say, my photography is so keenly aware of the models personality and her moods. I like that. Some people disagree and want there models as props in the shoot. I think it depends on the personality of the photographer and where his or her mind is at.
I also don’t mind too much when my model is running late and that’s a big change for me. I used to get really upset with models for being late as I didn’t figure it showed the proper respect for me or the shoot. Since my stroke I’ve become more aware of how much I depend on them to share their time with me that I’m easy now. My friend Rachel was pretty late for our shoot, she did call and tell me that she and her boyfriend were hanging a door and that she would be late but she’d be there. So I patiently waited for her and played on the computer for awhile until she came. I kept in my mind that she wasn’t getting paid for the shoot she was interested enough to volunteer her time and interest. True I had wine and some food for her after and a percentage of any sales. But there was nothing of a monetary reward for her for giving up her afternoon.
So you have to be reasonable about things, people get busy and people have there lives to live and I’m just a small part of that life. I think back to the New York phase of my life and how I was. I was always rushing about trying to get things done in as efficient a manner as possible. I guess I got caught up in the rat race that is part and parcel of living in the city. But once the girl got there I was calm and relaxed and a pleasure to work with. I mean here I was in the big city in a gorgeous studio with a live girl posing for me. It was the realization of a dream, my dream and I had all the tool necessary for me to do a competent job. The knowledge too, I had the knowledge to realize what I was doing with my lights and reflectors and my black card sto sculpture my light. It was everything I had dreamed about, how far I’ve come now from those times.
I work by natural light now with the help of reflectors and my trusty light meter. I’ve stripped away all of the hardware now and it’s like flying by the seat of my pants. The look has changed or rather evolved to a different me now. Less complex and more accommodating to time and circumstance. Though I don’t make the money I’m use to I’m happier now building a new career for me. One day I expect to get back to an easier time of it but for now I’m so content and you can’t buy that contentment.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Man Against the Elements


Today is the third anniversary of my stroke and marks my semi-return to life as I knew it. Not quite like my life before but it’s closer than was expected of me considering how badly the stroke affected me. My right side still has some lingering effects of paralysis and is worst when I’m tried or stressed. In the middle of the night or in the dark really my hand curls up in that palsied state that I knew only too well. My typing has improved as well as my stamina but I still find it hard to hold my hand up off the keys so I type a lot of JJJJJJJJJJJJ’s and KKKKKKKKKK’s with the occasional LLLLLLLLLL’s to lighten up the load. Thank god for Spell Check and Thesaurus to help me out. I continue to search my mind for the words I want to use and the meaning of some words. So the Thesaurus is especially helpful as well as the Dictionary to check out those difficult words I like to use. Never could spell them and had to look them up but you know I can’t help to feel blessed.
My life now is not as complicated as before, I’ve managed to find a new peace with my life and with my demons. I’m not in a hurry as much and have a new tolerance for people that was lacking in the old me. Never one to tolerate stupidity in anyone I’ve come to view it differently. In many cases it’s the result of an injury to the brain, connections that don’t work quite as well as mine. And in many cases it’s just that they have a congenital defect that isn’t working. I’ve realized that many people don’t have the same drive that I do or the same sense of adventure that has served me so well in my life. It seems that I’ve been preparing for some disaster to befall me and I’ve squirreled away knowledge like some juicy nut.
At any rate I am content with my life, there are things I want but don’t have but I can work towards them. I have my health and my mind and that’s the best of all worlds. I can turn my attention towards a better life for me and the people I know and trust. I don’t have a lot of extraneous friends but that means a cleaner landscape for the one’s I do. I am basically content and how many people can say that!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Stand Alone


I want to talk a bit about therapy not the kind you get in the hospital but in real life. As I said in a previous post get back to a normal life as soon as you can, just going through the motions helps your brain and body remember past movement. Don’t just sit there staring at the TV set do the things you used to enjoy like showering for one. It’s great therapy and your brain and body remember that well, use both hands to wash and scrub yourself but make sure you have installed a grab bar for support. Cooking, I enjoyed cooking up my own meals and I especially enjoyed making chicken stock for soups. Typing is good therapy too you need hand eye coordination and a repetitive motion and typing is good for you.
When I got out of the hospital my hand and brain didn’t work too well together. At first I was at loose ends because I just was focused on the skills I had lost and wondering when I’d get them back or would I even get them back. I was on an emotional roller-coaster reaching dizzying heights and down to the depths of despair. And the only relief I could get was in doing the exercises I was getting but that was now gone. So I had a lot of time to think and wonder and worry about my future and present. I was lucky enough that Lorri invited me to come stay with her awhile and time to heal without the pressure of everyday life. Little by little I got myself back into the rhythm of life again. I’d help her in the garden just carrying and emptying the buckets of weeds from the flower beds. Then I began raking the leaves in the small yard first. Then as I recovered more strength I began raking the leaves in the much larger back yard. I’d rake a small portion then sit and rest and get my strength back then rake some more then sit. Finally I got the whole backyard clear and I felt so good. Climbing the stairs was good for me too, there were two flight of stairs up from my room to the rest of the house. I had to climb those damn things four/five time a day but little by little the pain in my buttocks eased.
When I returned I started climbing the stair in my house, ten repetitions every day. Ditto when I went somewhere that had stairs until I got to the point that my leg remember climbing. No it’s not easy at first..., at firsts you feel like you are doing more harm than good but keep at it. It’s a good hurt and in the end you’ll feel more like yourself and so you’ll go on to try more things you used to do. Also don’t forget the internet, the internet is great practice for you brain connecting those memories and muscles in a new/old way. That’s what you have to do is to reconnect those pathways in your brain again. As I’ve said the stroke was like a landslide in my brain. It destroyed the familiar pathways I’d always use to get me though my life. The blockage was too big to blowup so I had to find a path around the blockage to get my life back. My arm and leg weren’t damaged they knew I could move but I wasn’t able to get the signal to them now. The muscles had atrophied in the months I was in recuperating and the only way to get them back was to use them again, remember that old saying use it or lose it? Well I had lost quite a bit and I had to start over and the first thing I had to exercise was my brain. I had to devise a plan to get my brain connected to my body again and I was kind of on my own to figure out what the next step was. Sure the therapy I received was great as far as it when but now I was on my own and that was much harder. But anything worth do is worth doing well and I kept that foremost in my mind. The other thing I kept trying to remember is to persevere that’s key to any recovery or any success. Keep trying no matter how difficult no matter how much pain it causes you. It the only way left..., never give up.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Rachel


This is Rachel a girl I shot a few months back, she came to me by way of a fellow photographer. She’s a sweet lovely girl who has some high goals in life and has taken control of her life and her future. As is my custom we met for coffee first and had a chance to get acquainted. I worked with her schedule and we got together one Sunday afternoon. She was only my second model since my stroke and we worked together quite well. Again I didn’t want any undue pressure on me while I reacquainted myself with shooting someone nude. I made her familiar with my stroke so she knew I worked slowly and a little stiffly.
But the session worked quite well and I didn’t have as hard a time moving and squatting as in the past. I worked with a reflector and remember to adjust it as the light changed or her pose did. I finally got to work with a chair I had acquired just days before my stroke. We worked with my transparent dress first to get some quiet poses with her both looking at the camera and away. Classic portraits in B&W and some color. That’s the way I work, I use the B&W’s as my sketch pad before I bring out the color. I fine tune it and get a shot(s) that I’m comfortable with then redo it in color and work it a bit more. I think this is the best way for me to work, slow easy and deliberate. Some may differ but I think it’s a matter of personal preference. It give me and the model a chance to bring ideas out, I never hurry my models and let them get a feel for the pose. I have an idea of what I want to capture but it’s that give and take that helps me capture something special.
I want for my models to have something they can use in their books or show to friends. After all it’s a two way street I figure and too many girls have their books filled with nudes and nothing that capture their personalities. Again that’s personal preference on my part. Maybe it’s being older and letting the girls settle in and get comfortable before moving in for the kill. So then we did some nudes, pay-dirt! I got really comfortable with my shooting and handling the camera. We picked up the pace and everything seemed to just flow. The pacing was just right and I didn’t have to wonder if Rachel would catch on to what I was aiming for or trying, she worked really well. I shot some polaroids to show her what I was getting and what I was looking for. We started working on the floor and that’s when I really hit my stride creatively. We got just what I was looking for and then some, that’s the beauty of working with someone who understands the creative mind. We just filled the time with play and having fun. Then she called her boyfriend to pick her up and we had the polaroids to show him what we’d been up to. A perfect end to the day!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Obama


I’ve been smiling since the overwhelming election of Obama. I find it hard to believe that he was allowed to succeed; now the hard work begins for all of us. We’ve realized that we are not alone, our actions affect the world at large as other’s actions affect us. Our country is no longer a nation in isolation rather just a neighborhood in the world of nations. Now our leaders have to take the high difficult road to a new understanding. The world must confront the economy, global warming, transportation and the wars as we move into the future united at last. No longer can we afford to look at the world through the narrow perspectives of our own self-interest.
Somber words from Obama in his acceptance speech before the nation. But words are not enough only real painful actions are necessary at this point. We can’t allow the jubilation of the election take our eyes off the problems we face. Little attention was paid in the election by both party’s and they both continued with their empty promises of massive government spending and a return to the golden days. Well the election is over and now our problems have come home to roost. We are broke as a nation and our credit has been cut off because as a nation we are overextended. Somber words indeed when you contemplate the difficulties we and our children face. I don’t mean to take the shine off anyone or to pee on anyone’s parade but we need to face reality.
Our nation, our world must begin to pull together for a common good. To paraphrase a famous quote, a world divided again itself can not long endure. We must take this second chance to lift all nations, to fix the problems that we can and work on the one’s that will take longer. The world was on our side after September Eleven as in no other time in history. It’s going to be a long hard slog in some very tricky territory but united we can begin to make a difference.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Watermelon Girl


Another show I was in was Plate and Platters held in conjunction with Fotoseptembre. Each piece for the show had to include a plate somehow that was left up to the imagination of each artist. Mine was shot in Austin with Thea Marie as my model and it went pretty well. It turned out to be a really classic piece with her demurely eating the melon. I had originally envisioned the model getting all messy’s with juice running down everywhere. In reality my model had things to do later and there were no facilities where she could clean up. So much for art imitating life!
That’s the thing to remember that the girls who get paid for the gig’s are paid for what you hire them to do. When working with a photographer for the art’s sake they get more of a say in what they’ll do. But it all works out for the best, sometimes you’re lucky to get an image that’s very classical in feel. So though you imagination runs wild with you it bumps up against the reality of things. Most time I’m working with models who’ll work for a percentage of the sales rather than get outright paid. Some agree to model for the sake of art and to get something different in their portfolios. Some do it for the sake of being in front of a camera and the feeling of adoration is worth the trouble. A growing number are professionals and bring a certain talent and skill set to the shoot and they are well worth the pay for that talent.
Which ever kind your lucky enough to get treat them right and they will do their best to see that you get the art you want. The wonderful thing about working with a professional is that you can get to the vision from the get go. No warm up time, no waiting for them to relax and get used to the camera and you. They have the talent and skills to begin working on the shoot you envisioned. You’re never wondering if and when they’ll show up or if they’ll be in the proper mood. They can draw on their experiences to enhance a pose or a movement. Funny how you’re shooting stills but the model’s movement is so important. A good model makes your life so easy but don’t fall into the trap of letting her do the work. Work with the model in realizing your vision and interpreting it. See what she brings to the shoot and then refine it into something that’s closer to your vision. Remember lack of vision can be as devastating to a photographer as to a president.